


A Beautiful Poisonous Flower

by Tirnel



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Death, F/M, Infidelity, M/M, Male Pronouns, More Death, Not Suitable/Safe For Work, Pre-reaper life, Rape/Non-con Elements, Suicide, Violence, You Have Been Warned, You may bring tissues, human!Grell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2018-12-30 10:04:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12106326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tirnel/pseuds/Tirnel
Summary: Thanks to shinigami-mistress and to blackbutlerfan13 for their help and input.WARNINGS GALORE. quite dark, lots of triggers. more info inside. don't like don't read.A dark depressing human Grell story before she becomes a reaper. If you are current at all in the fandom, you can guess a lot of the content.





	1. Chapter 1

Dressed for a wedding, but it felt like a funeral.

At least, that was how Grell felt as he stood in front of a full length mirror. His bright red hair was desperately trying to free itself from the hair products that held it in place; his mother's attempt to make him more presentable for the occasion by trying to tame his unruly locks.

"Ha, ha, ha," laughed his best friend and soon to be best man, Matthew. Also his secret crush. However, such information, Grell kept to himself. Grell was a romantic, but he didn't fancy being a dead one as of yet. He was far too young to want to be hung or locked forever in a prison for his sexuality. Especially since Matthew had no idea how he felt, and Grell had no idea how Matthew would react to Grell's affections. Grell knew he was different from other born males his age. He never really felt 'mannish', not only finding himself attracted to Matthew, but to the clothes worn by the females of the day. "Cheer up, Grellie. You look positively dismal." Besides, it was too late now. He was going to marry Grace Pickering ‘whether he liked it or not', his father had said.

"That's because I feel positively dismal. I don't even know this woman they are forcing me to marry. Not well, I mean. I do not love her nor do I want to marry her. From what I have seen and experienced, she has all the personality of a wet sponge."

Matthew laughed again, and had it not been for the fact that Grell absolutely adored his laugh, he would have been angry. It was also one of the rare occasions where they were alone enough they could act themselves without having to worry about propriety and social standards.

"Well, you will certainly know her well enough soon," replied Matthew with more laughter, not noticing Grell's deepening frown. The thought of sex with his intended was nauseating.

"I don't want to know her," Grell whined. "In any sense…I want to be an actor."

"Are you still on about that?" asked Matthew. As boys in school, the pair had performed in plays together to which Grell showed marvelous talent.

"But such a profession is not befitting a young man of my station," Grell stated with much sass as he quoted his parents, professors, and pretty much anyone else who knew of his desire to act. He let out a groan and sat on the bed. "The poor always say how if they were rich, they could follow their dreams…what a lie! Whoever started that lie should have their tongue ripped out and fed to them. I'm rich, and I can't do a damn thing I want. Not even choose who I spend the rest of my life with."

"Your family is rich," Matthew reminded him.

"Well then they can keep it, while I do as I please."

"Kind of hard on the pay of an actor after your parents disown you for going against them, an inevitable likelihood, I must say," said Matthew, ever the voice of reason. "And I know your tastes, which can get rather expensive. Not to mention your family's title must be passed on to a male heir, which is you…" Grell let out a groan and laid down on the bed as Matthew droned on. "You'll wrinkle your suit," Matthew paused to say. Grell's retort was muffled by the bedding. "What was that?"

"I said I wish I was born a girl," he repeated, lifting his head up to speak before putting his face back down in the bedding. Maybe if he buried his face deep and long enough, he would suffocate and not have to marry the woman.

"Cheer up, Grellie. You might find you enjoy married life." Grell lifted his head to respond, but was stopped by a knock on the door and someone telling them they were ready to start. Matthew offered Grell a hand up, which Grell took.

The wedding went as normal as possible. All the while, Grell felt his world ending and it was finalized as he and the woman were pronounced 'man and wife'. Their kiss had been the most chaste a kiss could be. Then the newlyweds were sent off on their honeymoon touring Europe. However, not even their time in France made Grell want to warm the bed with his new bride, though he did see a few handsome men he wouldn't have minded sharing a bed with.

The first few nights, Grace had given him more than a few worried looks and glances, expecting him to want to consummate their wedding vows soon, but he didn't. She thought perhaps he was as nervous as she was and held off mentioning it, but before long, she began to grow impatient.

She sat in front of the vanity brushing out her long blonde hair. Meanwhile, Grell had his nose stuck in one of his books at the other end of the room. "You know," she began after eyeing him from the mirror a few times, "in the eyes of the church, we have not completed all the acts that unites us as husband and wife." Reminding Grell that the Pickering's were avid churchgoers, like his own family, but his did not attend very often and Grell himself could not remember the last time he had gone to confession. Though, he did still remember a few things from his attendance.

"And in the eyes of this same church, it is a sin if we partake in such activities even though we be married to one another," he replied, turning a page in his book without even bothering to look at her as he spoke. "Damned if we do and damned if we don't. What kind of doctrine is that?" His wife's lips pursed in displeasure.

"What sort of husband have I been married to, I wonder?" she questioned aloud, her displeasure apparent in her voice. "What are you even reading?" She asked, getting up and snatching the book from his hands. "Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet?" Grace let out a barking laugh which grated on his nerves almost as much as her snatching the book from his hands had. "Well isn't that dandy. You will read all about love, but you won't act on it. Not even on your wedding night!" She continued to laugh at him.

She was mocking him. Laughing at him. At Shakespeare. His dreams. She mocked his love.

Grell stood up abruptly, snatching the book from her hands. "What sort of man have you married?" he growled and shoved her onto the bed. "I'll give you your 'wedding night'!" He pushed up her nightdress and yanked her undergarments from her. He rapidly pumped his sex to get it hard before shoving himself inside her forcefully.

Her eyes widened at his behavior, but stayed silent except for the whimper in pain at his rough entry. Grell didn't care if it hurt her as he thrust in and out of her roughly. Maybe then she will know the pain he has felt since being married to her and not his love. She was bleeding from his treatment of her and the scent and feel of her blood thrilled him and spurred him on. His hips moved at a furious pace, until he let out a soft cry and released inside her. "There," he hissed, "now we are 'properly wed'." Grell pulled out of her and got up, fixing his clothing, having not yet changed into his bedclothes, he left the room to take a walk. He didn’t return until the morning when it was time to leave.

"I apologize for my behavior last night," he said the next day after they had boarded the train. Not because he felt any remorse, but he feared any repercussions it might have on him if word of his behavior got out. He also came to conclusion during that night that if he was to be chained to her for the rest of his life, it might be best to try to keep peace between them. His didn't do a good job of it, his ill-temper being what it was.

"You hurt me," she stated coldly.

He fought back the scowl that tried to appear at her accusation. "You insulted me. I didn't want this marriage, and I am certain if you search your brains hard enough, you'd realize you don't want it either."

"I am beginning to-"

"A rich young thing like you surely had a beau or two you would rather have married. I certainly had someone different in mind to spend the rest of my life I please and you do as you please and we'll avoid any unpleasantries between us."

"'Husbands are to love their wives'" Grace quoted scripture.

"Well I don't love you." he stated firmly. "And don't ever spout that drivel at me again. I don't give a hang about 'God'." She looked at him studiously, but stayed silent. He foresaw a life with separate bedrooms, which suited him fine.

~A few months later~

A breathy moan escaped his lips as he came into the hand of his valet who thrust into him from behind in the garden shed. Grell had arranged for the gardener to be away in town so they could meet here. "Master," his valet moaned softly into his ear as he came down from his own sex high. His valet pulled out his flaccid member and took a handkerchief in hand. He cleaned them up and fixed their clothing, tucking his master back inside his pants. Grell turned around and caught him in a passionate kiss.

"Thank you, James," he said. "I needed that."

"My pleasure" James answered with a smile.

"Best get back to the house before you are missed," said Grell with a frown and checking the time. "I have to meet the Mistress for tea." James nodded and left the shed to return to his duties. Grell waited a few minutes before leaving. It wasn't love, not on Grell's part, but it was some relief and comfort afforded to him. They were always careful about where, when, and how often they engaged in these activities.

It started shortly after arriving home from his honeymoon when Grell caught him staring at his nude form as he helped him dress after a bath. Grell discovered his valet held an attraction for him. The two had taken care of each other's needs since. Not as often as Grell would have liked, having a high sex drive, but he knew the need for secrecy.

Grell strode into the room where his wife and the tea waited. She sat in a cushioned chair while embroidering a pillow. To Grell's shock and annoyance, a man of the church was sat in the room and the two were conversing like old friends. Grell eyed him warily as he approached him. On seeing Grell, the man stood and offered his hand for Grell to take. "Husband," said his wife, laying aside her work but not getting up. "This is Father Ferguson."

Grell ignored the father's hand and instead spoke to his wife. "Why is he here?"

"You're -um-wife," said Ferguson apprehensively, "tells me that there has been trouble within your marriage. It is actually quite common." He took a white handkerchief from his pocket and used it to mop his sweaty forehead. "She has also told me that you have…turned your back on God."

Grell crossed his arms and scowled at the man. "I don't how this is any of your business."

"Well, with a child on the way, a devout and pious woman such as your wife is understandably concerned about the well-fare of the child and what kind of home it will be brought up in. Naturally, she sought advice…"

"Child?" questioned Grell. "This is news to me. How long have you known?" he asked, turning to his wife. A part of him was elated at the news, he also found himself jealous. He wanted to be the one carrying the child. "Is it mine?" he asked with contempt. They had not been together but that one time. He couldn't possibly be the father.

Grace looked at him crossly at the implied accusation. "Of course it is yours! Your negligence of your obligations has not forced me to seek gratification elsewhere," she replied in an accusing manner.

"Peace, peace, my children," the father interjected in a calming voice, trying to ease the growing tension in the room before things got out of hand.

"Fuck off!" Grell shouted at him.

Father Ferguson's face turned as red as a beet. Grace looked at Grell with contempt that he wouldbl dare speak that way to a man of the church, though by now not much if his behavior surprised her. "Such language," he muttered. "I shall be taking my leave," he told the Mistress of the house and left. He left quickly.

"Well," scoffed his wife, "I hope you are proud of yourself. Send for the maid and tell her the tea has gone sour."

Grell did not respond as she got up and left the room. His anger and frustration bubbled over and with a growl, he upset the table holding the things intended for their tea. Some of the dishes broke and tea spilled onto the floor, soaking into the rug and scattered biscuits.

The baby's arrival drew nearer and nearer. The Father visited often at the behest of his wife, but always took care to avoid Grell. Grell grew ever more jealous of his wife's condition. He should be carrying the baby. Matthew's baby.

Often he came to stand in front of his mirror and imagine what he would look like as a woman. It wouldn't take much. His figure was more womanly than a man's. His skin was light and fair, quite soft. A few freckles marred his nose, but that could be covered with a bit of make up. How beautiful he would look in a wedding gown with long, luxurious red hair curled into tight spirals and pinned up elaborately. Grell would turn to the side and view his profile. He would look ravishing in a corset and a lovely pair of breasts…here. Using his hands, he measured the distance from his chest as he imagined them. Not too big, not too small.

He could have married Matthew. They would live in an extravagant house and have two, maybe three children at least. She might have more if she felt like it.

"Something has you distracted," said James as he pressed kisses to Grell's skin. Their aching cocks rubbed against each other in the privacy of Grell's hotel room.

"My apologies," responded Grell. Placing his hands on the sides of his lover's face, he kissed him, deeply and passionately.

"The baby?"

"Mostly," he answered, "Don't worry about the rest." Grell kissed him again and tried to forget about his cares for an evening, but was unsuccessful. He had a child on the way. A child who would provide plenty of distraction for him. Someone he could love and who could love him back. After that night, he didn’t see James in secret anymore.

Grell held his newborn daughter in his arms and looked down in awe at her. She was so tiny and so beautiful. The hair on her head was too sparse to tell its color, but that mattered little to him. He was just happy to finally hold her, and even more envious that he had not carried her in his body. He thought to call her Eveline, perhaps. However, his wife had beaten him to the punch and given her a more 'biblical' name: Mary. Grell supposed it did not matter in the end, He would not love her any less.

Mary became his new world and he spent all of his free time with her. If people talked, he did not listen, nor did he care. Life at home became more bearable…for a time…

"Influenza," Grell was told as he watched his little girl from afar shivering under the covers as her body sweat with fever. Grell was not allowed to get close for fear of him catching it as well. "There must be something that can be done," Grell said desperately, knowing what such an illness can do to someone so young.

"Nothing can be done that isn't already being done," answered his wife. "It is in God's hands now."

Grell turned vehemently towards her. "If there was a god, he wouldn't have let my precious child get so sick," he spat.

"God works in mysterious ways," she replied calmly.

"Damn his mysterious ways! I just want my little girl to be well."

"Then you might want to start believing in him and start praying." Grell remained silent as he watched his wife leave the room. Perhaps if he had any faith let in god, he would have prayed, but he didn't. He all but took up residence near his daughter's sick bed, pleading with her to get well, talking to her, reading to her. She only got worse. The influenza turned into pneumonia. Not long after, she died.

It was not considered manly to cry, but Grell did not care what society thought as he took his young child in his arms and held her close to his chest; wailing the loss of his child. A hand gently laid itself on his shoulder. “Go away. Leave me be,” he cried, not caring who it was.

“Husband,” Grace addressed him softly.

“Where is your god now?” He spat angrily. “How could a god be so cruel; taking away my only happiness?”

“She was my daughter too,” she replied sadly, biting her tongue at his harsh words. She had grown quite used to them now. “You aren’t the only one who mourns her loss. I loved her too.” Grace left the room quietly, having nothing else to say. Nothing that she thought would do any good.

Friends and family attended the burial, including Matthew. Grell did not. He remained in his daughter's room even after they had carried her body out, after they had pried her from his arms. He would not go and watch them bury her in the ground. Alone, in the dark. When the servants inquired after him, he requested one thing: alcohol.

The evening found Grell unmoved from little Mary's bedside, the bottle of alcohol in his hands as he brooded there alone in the darkened room. His light. His life. Gone.

Matthew entered, knocking softly on the door as he pushed it open. There was a sad smile on his face as he looked at Grell. “You'll ruin your posture if you slouch like that.” He shouldn't make jokes. Not at a time like this, but their visits of late had been few and far between that seeing his longtime friend, no matter his state, was very cathartic. And he so hated seeing Grell so downcast. Grell raised his head look at him, his grief evident on his features. 

He brightened somewhat at the sight of someone he held seat to his heart. “Matthew,” he breathed. A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. That's right, he still had Matthew. 

“It's good to see you, old friend,” said Matthew as he came further into the room. “However unfortunate the circumstances may be.”

Grell choked and felt like he would cry once again. “It's so unfair!” he cried and slumped forward and stared down at the bottle he held. Matthew drew even closer, and in an attempt to comfort his friend, he patted and rubbed Grell's back sympathetically. He couldn’t imagine what losing a child must feel like. 

Alone. Grell was alone. Alone, alone, alone. No one to love and no one to love him. No one except, Matthew. He wasn’t alone! He had Matthew, the one person he could on, someone who was always there for him. He loved Matthew and Matthew loved him. He didn’t have to be alone!

Grell rose to his feet, he placed his hand on the back of Matthew skull and brought his face his, pressing their lips together with a maddened passion. Matthew struggled and broke the kiss, pushing Grell away. “Grell, what-"

“I love you, I always have,” he raved, still clinging tight to the other. 

Matthew didn’t know what to think. There was an odd look in Grell’s eyes and it concerned him deeply. He gripped Grell by the shoulders and shook him firmly yet gently. “Grell, stop it. You're mad, mad with grief. You don’t know what you're saying. You don’t know what you’re doing. Do you know what people would do if they heard this talk? Grell…”

“They don’t matter. We can run away, you and I,” Grell went on. “Find someplace secret just for us. I'll bear your children. We will be so happy.” Matthew could not hide the look of disgust that came across his face at the mention. Grell made to kiss him again, but Matthew shoved him away. He turned on his heel and left the room

“Matthew?” Grell called after him as he followed. “Darling, wait, where are you going?”

Matthew turned around and answered with all decorum he could muster, “What you speak of is unholy. Because I have been your friend and you have just lost your daughter, I shall keep the happenings of this night to myself, but attempt such vile acts again and I will not hesitate to contact the proper authorities. I pray it is only your sudden loss that has ignited this egregious behaviour in you. I will not be party to it.” He bowed his head as he paused and took a deep breath. “I have always known you were a little odd. You think I didn’t notice all the times you would stare at me wistfully? Your sometimes flirtatious behavior? Whether it be a touch here, a phrase there? I pretended not to notice, hoping it would pass once you found yourself a bride. For your sake, I will turn a blind eye once more, but just this once.”

“Unholy?” Grell echoed,. “How can such a love between two people be unholy? True love is the holiest thing of all!”

“It is not holy!” Matthew shouted. “I bid you stop saying such revolting things!”

“Don’t be like this, darling,” Grell begged. “You don’t have to worry about what others will think because we'll be someplace safe. I'm going to become a woman, just for you. Then we will be happily married.” Grell stepped forward to embrace him once again. “Think of what beautiful children we'll have!”

“You're mad! Let go of me!” Matthew demanded as he struggled to free himself once again. “Unhand me!” He succeeded in pushing Grell away from him, who fell backwards onto the floor. Once freed from the redheads grasp, Matthew attempted to leave again.

“No,” protested Grell. His voice came out tiny and small. Matthew was leaving him, leaving him here alone. He just couldn’t! He couldn’t be alone! “No!” Grell raged. He got back on his feet, grabbing the bottle he had carried with him off the floor from where it had fallen when he was pushed. “I won’t lose you too!” He ran after Matthew, bringing the bottle down hard upon the other’s head. Matthew dropped to the floor like a sack of potatoes. Grell knelt beside his prone body, coddling him as he apologized for striking him. He stroked Matthew’s hair, only to keep back his hand when he felt something wet. He held his hand up to his face to find it covered in red. His eyes widened in shock and he shook him. 

“What's going on in here? I heard shouting,” Grace said as she stepped into the hallway. Grell's horror at what he had done turned to ire at his wife's coming. “You!” he snarled. “This is all to your fault!”

“Husband?” She questioned as she gaped at the body. Grace hurried forward to investigate.

“Stay away!” Grell commanded, but she did not heed him as she knelt by Matthew's body.

“He's dead!” Grace exclaimed. She looked to her husband for an answer.

Grell's hand shot out and gripped her by her throat. Her eyes widened, she clawed at his hand to release herself from his grip as he drew her close. “If it wasn’t for you, Matthew would still be alive. Ruinous wench! You took everything from me.” He took the bottle on his hand once more and beat her with it. He beat her until the bottle broke and then continued by stabbing her with the shards. The red blood splattered everywhere and he admired it. It was beautiful. He loved the way it contrasted with his fair white skin and he liked the way it looked on his dead wife even more. Her body was mutilated by the time he finished with her. 

Grell crawled back over to Matthew's body and cradled it once more. “My beloved,” he cried as he placed a kiss on his cheek. “Fear not. We'll be together. Where you go, I go,” he said. He gripped a shard from the bottle in his hand and slid it across his wrist. First his right and then his left. He watched the color that entranced him run down and drip onto Matthew. He laughed sharply. Looking down, at Matthew, he smiled sweetly. He took Matthew's face in his hands and kissed him once more. He laid down against him and held him as he smiled. “My darling,” he breathed as he drew a heart on Matthew's cheek in his blood. “It won’t be long now. Wait for me.”

His eyes dimmed. They closed slowly as his heart stilled and he breathed his last with a smile on his lips.

The grim reaper tsked as the cinematic record came to a close. “I'm beg your pardon, dearie, but I’m afraid you won’t be seeing your beloved any time soon. He's gone to the angels and, well, you,” he grinned wryly, “you'll go to a different place entirely. Who knows? Perhaps you'll enjoy being a god of death.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I apologize ahead of time. I flipped flopped back on forth on the pronouns without realizing it at first. Grell is trying to figure himself/herself out anyway, so I guess it works.

 

White.

A blinding white blur.

That was all Grell could see as she opened her eyes. At first, she thought she was waking from sleep, but there were voices. So many voices echoing around her, talking all at once. They condemned her for her sins. Next thing she knew, she was being shoved into a small room and ordered to change into a set of clothes provided her. A black suit and so terribly not her style. Oh that would not do at all. Where was Matthew? Where was she? What was going on? Why was she having trouble with her vision? She had too many questions.

She banged on the door of the room and kicked it as she tried to open it. Someone banged back, causing her to back away while they spoke. “Get changed trainee Sutcliffe before we come in and change you for you.”

Trainee? Grell kicked the door again. “I want Matthew! Where is Matthew!” She had not paid attention to the voices and didn’t know what was going on, but it must be a heaven of sorts, right? So Matthew should be here. “Where is my lover? What have you done with him?”

“Get dressed,” was her only reply. She looked at the clothing and slowly took off the grey smock like garment she had no memory of putting on. Grell took her time putting on the I’ll fitting suit. A plain pair of spectacles lay beside where the garments were and looked at them curiously. Were they meant for her? She wondered and put them on as well. Her eyesight instantly improved and she wondered again what sort of place this was and why she suddenly required glasses. Do the dead require sight? What's more, do they require glasses? This was all very odd.

Maybe Matthew was in a room similar to this having to do the exact same thing? In that case, Grell hurried up and finished. She knocked on the door, more gently this time and the door opened to a severe looking woman who had her hair pulled up into a tight bun and held a clipboard. “Grell Sutcliff,” she addressed. Her cheekbones stuck out too far, making her decidedly most unattractive. Her eyes were also too close together. Grell started to nod ‘yes' when she continued. “Do you know why you are here?”

“Because I died,” Grell with every bit of sass he could muster.

The woman's lips pursed in displeasure. Like she had taken a bite of a sour lemon. “You're here because you made the decision to take your own life. You are to serve out your punishment here. As a grim reaper, your duty will be to review the souls of the dead and judge them, then subsequently collect them. If you pass your final exam. My name is Beatrice Grindlewald. Follow me,” she said and turned about abruptly.

Grell followed her reluctantly, doing her best to not appear confused. “Where's Matthew?” she asked again.

“Did this Matthew commit suicide?” she asked harshly.

“N-no,” she replied thickly.

“Then your friend is not here. This place is for those who have committed the sin of taking their own life.”

“But, I don't recall any of that in-"

“Silence,” Grindlewald spoke brusquely. “From what your file tells me, you are lucky to be here at all, murderer.”

“I didn't mean to kill Matthew,” he defended. “But that bitch, she deserved what she got,” he said with much venom.

“Your hall of residence is in the Charon building, second floor, room twelve. Here is your class schedule.” She handed him a sheet of paper. He took it blindly as he was now looking around in awe at his surroundings. Lamps were lit by seemingly as if magic. The furniture styles surrounding him were unfamiliar as well. Everyone's clothes looked the same, excepting the women wore skirts instead of trousers, but of a fashion unfamiliar to him. He noted some eyeglasses were stylized, but others were the same plain and boring as his. He wondered if he was fated to wear spectacles for the foreseeable future, how he could acquire stylized frames for himself. Perhaps they sold them in a shop.

  
Grell followed Grindlewald around campus, trying to put to memory which building was which. In the Glasses Department, she learned she could get custom frames after she passed her final exams. That was exciting.

Grindlewald led him to Charon Hall and left him there. He found his room easily enough, cold and dismally colorless. He went to the window overlooking a small section of the grounds. Grim, grim, grim. No wonder they were called ‘grim reapers', no one looked happy. His wonder and excitement at his new surroundings had died away and he began to feel very grim himself. Stuck in a place until he is forgiven, however long that takes; days? Weeks? Years? Until he could be reunited with Matthew. Till then he was completely alone in a strange place where everyone and everything was as cold as death.

Dead.

That's what he was. He had chosen it willingly when he thought he was going to be with his beloved. Now, he wasn't feeling so accepting of it as he moved away from the window to sit on the lumpy mattress. Would he ever see his beloved Matthew or his daughter ever again? Tears fell from his eyes at this new cruel twist of fate. His heart turned bitter and angry with the thought that perhaps they were forever beyond his reach.

Everything he believed was a lie.

His anguish morphed into a deep seated anger. It was so unfair! Grell pounded the mattress with his fist. Damn them! He pounds his fist. Damn them all to hell! From now on, he would love only himself. Unless someone could prove themselves worthy of his love.

Drained, he fell back on his bed and fell asleep.

The morning brought a new day and with it, a new Grell. If he was fated to live who knows how long in this new life, then he was going to take it and make it a new life. So death required sleep…and food apparently, by the rumbling in his stomach. Wasn't death supposed to be void of these exigencies? Ah, but he wasn't just dead, was he? He was a grim reaper. Would he age? He supposed he would find out in due time. He had a lot to learn about being a grim reaper. Dear god, he hoped he wasn't expected to wear those garish black robes.

Though determined to hate everyone, it was hard not to ogle the eye candy he saw. So many handsome men he saw in his first class the next day. Would any of these fine men be able to reignite the flame of love in his heart? Who knew? And how many would object to a tumble in the sheets? He wondered. And he wondered if he should hold them to the same standard he was holding his heart. It was a risky thing; bedding someone unworthy of his love may result in more broken hearts. He should be the one breaking hearts, not having his own broken more than it was. Grell could get by on his own, but the touch of another was much more satisfying than his own. But if he must for the time being, he would.

They were staring at him. Whispering behind his back, he just knew it. He could sense it. Murderer. That Grindlewald must have opened her trap and blabbed it to everyone, Grell thought as he slammed his locker shut. Surrounding reapers jumped at the sudden expression of anger. Truth was Grell was just sexually frustrated and had been going around the academy with a horrid scowl on his face that frightened everyone. Grell screamed in frustration and slammed the nearest student's head into a wall. Acts of violence and fighting were a common occurrence.

There were definite perks to his new life. Grell had been particularly adept in the art of fencing in his human life. Learning how to wield a scythe came easy to him. This class quickly became his favorite. He was able to take his frustrations out on his classmates with little to no consequences. Some of his frustration anyway. It helped that his teacher was very easy on the eyes as well.

Nikolas Gorney. It was said he had been a reaper for a long time. Over a hundred years, his classmates gossiped. He had beautiful shaggy silver hair that went almost to his shoulders was often pulled back into a black band. Grell couldn't decide which he liked better. And his eyes! Oh, his eyes were positively dreamy! The rest was left to Grell's imagination as he watched the strong body move beneath the tight black pants and loose white shirt Nikolas always wore. Grell was pleased to find out he wouldn't have to worry about getting old anymore. He could spend an eternity looking as young as ever.

The dress code had changed, but Nikolas held on to the old one, much preferring it to the new suits. It certainly seemed more easy to move in, Grell agreed. Nikolas was considered rather legendary to many, Grell learned and was allowed to get away with breaking some rules without repercussions. However, as a reaper in training, Grell had to abide by the new rules.

“Harden your stance,” Nikolas instructed Grell. The elder reaper struck at the younger, knocking Grell back. Nikolas was a tough instructor. It was hard to keep up with him even when he was ‘going easy’ on his pupils. In a real fight, Grell knew he wouldn't stand a chance against Nikolas. “You call that hardening? You're as flimsy as ever.”

The others laughed to see Grell knocked to the floor. Grell growled in anger at being mocked. He rolled to grab his training scythe and sprang up. He attacked Nikolas full force only to have his scythe easily batted away and a swift kick delivered to his rear, sending him to the floor once again. “Attacking out of anger,” Nikolas clicked his tongue at the young reaper. “I thought I had taught you better than that by now.” Nikolas pinned Grell to the floor, his scythe at the other's neck. “You would do well to remember this lesson,” Nikolas spoke softly caution in his ear. “How does it feel to have your ass handed to you? Not very good, does it? Keep that in mind next time you decide to pick on the weak…class dismissed.” The rest of the class began shuffling out of the training room. “Except you, my little ginger biscuit,” he said to Grell.

When they were alone, Nikolas let Grell up. “So all that was to teach me a lesson?!” Grell fired at him.

“Pretty much,” replied Nikolas.

“What the hell?!”

“Do you want to graduate from this cursed academy?” he asked in all seriousness. “If so, I'd straighten up a little if I were you.”

“Well, you're not me! What do you know about it?”  
  
“Probably nothing, but possibly something,” was his reply. Nikolas shrugged as he answered. “Why not enlighten me?”

“Because it's not your business and you wouldn't understand.”

“Wouldn't I now?” His gleaming eyes wandered over Grell's body, examining him. Grell felt naked under that intense gaze. Nikolas drew closer and cupped Grell's balls in his hand.

“What are you-nnn~” Grell moaned out as the other began to massage and fondled his testicles.

“Just giving you what you need,” Nikolas purred in his ear. “A little _release_. If you want me to stop, all you have to do is say the word.”

Grell gripped the older reaper’s wrist and pressed deeper into the touch. He moved his hips against the other's hand. “Like hell you will. Don't start something unless you’re going to finish it.”

“Words to live by, hihihi~,” Nikolas chortled.

“What services are you offering to relieve me by?”

“Oh-hoh! Such a naughty one, you are. Is my hand not enough for you, mein kleines Lebkuchenherz?” He whispered in German into the redhead’s ear. His little ginger biscuit. Grell wasn't fluent enough to know what he said, but his knees went weak all the same. Nikolas smirked. The redhead was putty in his hands, moaning as Nikolas moved his hand to rub the others erection through his clothing.

Grell realized how pathetic he must look, grasping onto the elder's shoulders as he rode his palm like an eager harlot, but it mattered not. His lust was far greater than any concern he had for his instructor's opinion of him. Grell removed one hand from Nikolas' shoulder to undo his trousers and freed himself from the confines of his pants, allowing them to fall to the floor. “Please,” he whispered pleadingly. “Please.”

Nikolas sighed at Grell's behavior and took the redhead's cock in his hand. “No,” said Grell, wanting more than just the man's hand around cock. “I want-"

“I know what you want,” Nikolas interrupted in a stern voice. “This is good enough for now and all you'll be getting. Naughty boys don't deserve to be treated like queens.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mein kleines Lebkuchenherz: basically, my little gingersnap/bread.
> 
> Thanks to @Moribirds for translating for me! <3
> 
> ;) @shinigami-mistress: a little joke in here for you, I wonder if you'll catch it.


	3. Chapter 3

 

Grell woke to the ceiling that was ever becoming more and more familiar to him and grinned. Nikolas had certainly made him feel like a queen the previous night. The way the silver haired reaper had worshiped his body! Grell squirmed about in joy as he recalled each kiss and each touch before rolling over to see Nikolas had already risen. Grell frowned a moment before sitting up and hugging his pillow. Nikolas often left before Grell woke in the morning.

With a huff followed, by a yawn, Grell slid out of bed to get ready for the day. He went to stand in front of the mirror and inspected himself for any visible love marks. None where they would be seen. Darn it. “Careful, you,” he spoke and pointed to himself in the mirror. “You’re losing your head and if you’re not careful, your heart. He's made it clear you and him are not to become too attached. It's just sex. Ah but what wonderful sex it is!” Grell sighed and wrapped his arms around himself. “And he is a wonderful man! He certainly knows how to treat a lady. Well, off to school then,” he winked and blew himself a kiss.

Grell donned a woman's dressing gown, a gift from Nikolas. As he sat in front of his mirror at the table Nikolas had provided him, he began applying some light makeup, also gifts from Nikolas, to cover his freckles and make himself appear more feminine in the face. Now that he thought about it, Nikolas had bought a lot of things for him for it to be ‘just sex'. Perhaps he was the one becoming too attached. Grell didn't think he would mind if they became closer on his part. The memory of Matthew was fading into obscurity and Grell found he did not mind. Matthew had been pretty to look at, but he was weak; too weak and too scared to partake in the beautiful love they could have had. Man on man together in a tragic play! And here was a much better, a much prettier and stronger man. A smarter and braver man.

A dab of fragrance and Grell was ready to face the day. His day at the academy was doing it's usual hum-drum routine. He grinned as he walked the halls to the cafeteria. Maybe if he was lucky, he would have to “stay after class" for some “instruction" from Nikolas. He let out a giggle as he toyed with a lock of his red hair. Some reapers behind him in line were whispering as he waited his turn to get his lunch. Whispering about him no doubt, but he didn't let it bother him. He needed to be good if he was to get any fun time with Nikolas.

He had just gotten his food and was crossing the room to find a seat when someone rushed past knocking another reaper nearby into him, causing their lunches to spill all over Grell. “Ah, pardon me,” he heard the guilty party say hurriedly as rushed on. Grell saw the mess on his uniform and growled, wyes snapping up to catch a glimpse of the ordinary looking man with dark hair who struggled to keep his glasses on his face a he ran away.

“Get back here you-!” Grell shouted, but he was already gone.

oOo

“Oh, my, my, my,” said Nikolas with a stupid grin on his face when he saw the state of Grell's uniform.

“Stop smiling, old man, it isn't funny,” Grell snarled.

“You act like he did you a great harm, my tender little flower,” replied Nikolas with more sobriety. “You are not hurt. It should all wash out.”

“Who are you calling a ‘tender flower'?! I am not weak!” Grell defended furiously.

“Temper, temper, my little rosebud,” Nikolas said calmingly.

“If I ever see that insignificant little speck again, I'll…”

“Someone wants to sleep alone tonight.”

“I’ll ask him to apologize and forgive him,” Grell fibbed then looked at Nikolas lustfully. They were alone in the classroom as he lowered himself to his knees in front of Nikolas' crotch. He rubbed him through his pants as he looked up pleadingly. “I'll be good, I promise.” Nikolas rolled his eyes upwards and sighed. “Does little Nikolas want to come out and play?” Grell asked, feeling him harden beneath his hand. Grell undid Nikolas' tight black trousers and wrapped his mouth around his cock.

“Ever so naughty,” said Nikolas, entwining his fingers in the red hair. “I'm not to sure about ‘Little Nikolas’, but big Nikolas knows what he wants,” he said and jerked Grell's head back, away from his cock. Grell gave a sharp cry as he released him. Nikolas then pulled Grell to his feet. Taking the gray ribbon he had taken to wearing to tie his hair back on Grell's insistence, he wrapped it around Grell's wrists and tied them tightly. He pulled Grell over to a chair and sat down. Grell grinned, very excited about their little play.

Nikolas yanked down Grell's trousers and pants, exposing the other's bare ass. He yanked Grell down to lay over his lap. “Now then, my naughty little ginger snap.” Grell raised his head curiously as Nikolas raised his hand. He brought it down upon the pale exposed cheeks.

Grell gave a shriek as Nikolas' hand landed harder than he anticipated. His ass stung and he was certain Nikolas' hand had left a mark. “Such a naughty flower,” said Nikolas as he continued to spank Grell. “Thought you could fool old Nikolas, eh? You lying little wretch.”

“Ah!” Grell cried and squirmed, but Nikolas held him fast. “Nicky! Nikolas!”

“Apologize for lying.”

“It was just a little fib! Nikolas, you're hurting me!”

“Apologize.”

“I- I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!”

“That's my girl.” Nikolas smiled and ceased his strikes. He laid his hand tenderly over Grell's now reddened and sore butt cheeks and stroked them lovingly.

“You enjoyed that far too much,” said Grell somewhat bitterly.

“Have we learned our lesson about lying?” He asked.

“Yes, you cruel beast,” replied Grell.

“Good,” said Nikolas with satisfaction, continuing to stroke Grell's tender behind. He stuck his middle finger into the other's asshole, moving it about. “However, I can see that you enjoyed that too, didn't you?”

“You didn't have to hit me so hard, though,” Grell answered amid soft moans. “Oh, Nikolas. Kiss it better?”

“You don't deserve it,” he replied, letting Grell up and bending him over the chair regardless. “I spoil you way too much. Don’t you have a class in ethics soon?”

“I can make it up,” Grell answered, sticking his ass out eagerly for Nikolas.

"You'd better," replied Nikolas, kneeling behind Grell and pressing soft kisses to the other's pale skin.

"Oh," breathed Grell. "Nikolas." He rubbed his prick which was already slick with precum. Nikolas slowly ran his tongue down to the cleft of Grell's cheeks. His warm wet tongue lathed over the red head's hole before inserting itself, eliciting a moan from the younger reaper. “Oh, oh, Nicky,” Grell moaned, his fingers clutching onto the chair. The ungodly things the man could do with his tongue were positively sinful!

A strong, firm grip was placed around Grell’s genitals by Nikolas hand as he began to pleasure him there as well. “Nicky, Nicky, please,” Grell keeled, “I want you inside me.” It never ceased to amaze Nikolas just how easily this volatile storm of a reaper be and a whimpering hot mess whenever they came together for sex.

“It may hurt,” Nikolas warned, replacing his tongue with his fingers.

“I don’t care. Fuck me until I am raw. I need your cock.”

“Do you now?” Asked Nikolas, raising himself up behind the redhead, holding him by his hips and pushing his cock into the other with a groan. Grell winced. Nikolas moved gently. As much as he liked getting freaky in the sheets, there were times when he needed to be gentle, despite what his partner may say. Grell seemed to like it rough, but Grell was so tight around his thick cock, Nikolas thought he might tear the reaper in two. Impossible as it may seem, he didn’t want to take that risk. They already were not using proper lubrication, using just Nikolas’ saliva. Would that he had time to properly prepare him.

He listened to Grell’s breathing become erratic. Then he heard him say, “Faster, Nicky.” Nikolas obliged, shoving himself in and out of Grell’s hole until he felt the redhead’s muscles contract and tighten. He let out a moan and came in the older reaper’s hand. Nikolas groaned and filled him with his cum. He pulled out of the redhead and ignored the flutter his heart made at the delicate satisfied moan that escaped Grell as he did so. He watched Grell fix himself and then allowed him to fix himself.

“À bientôt, mon doudou,” Grell said, kissing him on the cheek before leaving him. Nikolas couldn’t deny he was looking forward to an evening with this man. An evening of cuddling and petting his…lover? Sweet death, had he really become attached to the little redhead?

“It’s only supposed to be sex,” he told himself. To keep the rambunctious redhead from ruining his chances when he'd barely begun. If left to his own devices, the lad would likely have had his chance at redemption revoked, being seen as a hopeless case. This would be a shame as Grell Sutcliff showed great talent, when he put his mind to it. Analyzing his behavior and a little, plausibly illegal investigation, Nikolas figured out what made him tick and devised a means to keep him in check effectively, albeit manipulatively. Yet here he was.

Nikolas ran a had through his long hair and gave a wry laugh. “Bugger me. This isn't good.”

oOo

Grell was proud of himself. Too proud, perhaps, but he didn't concern himself with such trivial matters. He had the highest marks in practical skills. (His marks in his other classes were not faring as well, but those classes he thought to be pointless and didn't concern himself with them either). Rules were made to be broken and who gave a hang about ethics?

However, if he wanted to keep his perfect grade, he had to do one thing he hated: study dry, old, dusty books written in ever such a dull manner for one of his classes. The library was a sight to behold as he walked through the heavy double doors, to be sure, with its shelves all stuffed with books and scrolls that towered above the redhead. Some sections of shelves were more modern rather bland looking, while others were very old and intricately carved. His face fell into a grimace at the thought pf having to spend his afternoon going through all of these.

Not that Grell hated books, on the contrary, he loved reading, given the proper subjects of course. These sorts of books were, alas hard to come by in his lifetime. Romance! Intrigue! Lovers sacrificing themselves for each other in the name of love to die tragically by their own hands! Now that was the sort of literature he craved! And Grell, with certainty, doubted they had any of the like in this stuffy old library. Grell often longed for his books collection of books left behind in the human world. However, new reapers were unable to create portals to the human realm until their final exams. Nikolas didn't have any books of that sort in his private collection either. They were all comedies and medical texts. Nikolas had once thought of joining the medical field, he had told him. Grell browsed them occasionally out of sheer boredom.

There were a few reapers scattered throughout the library, but Grell paid them no mind as he started his hunt. He hadn't been long on his endeavor when he spotted a familiar face. The very one responsible for spilling the lunches all over Grell! With a snarl, Grell marched over to the table at which the other sat and slammed his palms down on the table, looming over his peer. “Just who the hell do you think you are?!” he shouted.

“I beg your pardon?” replied the brunet.

“Running into people and then just taking off like that? It's rude! Not to mention the ruination a perfectly good shirt.”

The reaper looked mildly confused for a moment as he sorted out what the redhead was yelling at him and then looked at him squarely once realizing what it was. He adjusted the book in his hands and replied steadfastly, with little to no emotion, “I did apologize.”

“No you didn't!” Grell shrieked. They were now getting looks from other reapers.

The brunet reflected for a moment before replying. “You are correct. I had asked for your pardon. Essentially the same thing, but not quite. In that case, I apologize.”

Grell was speechless, unable to come up with a retort to the other's masterful reply. He finally growled, his cheeks turned red with anger as he jerked the other up by his collar. “I'll show you ‘sorry',” he said and pulled back a fist intending on beating the brunet to a pulp when his wrist was taken gold of by another. Grell looked to see Nikolas tsk at him with disapproval.

“It appears we didn't learn our lesson the other day,” he said and dragged the redhead off to a secluded part of the library where they were not likely to be bothered or overheard. Once there, Nikolas let go and ran a hand through his hair with a sigh. “What am I going to do with you?”

“Oh, come on, I wasn't going to hit him that hard,” replied Grell, annoyed at having been stopped.

“Do you want to be expelled?” Nikolas asked in frustration. “Because that is what is going to happen if you cause too much trouble here and believe me, dearie, you do not want that “

Grell's brows crossed and he growled. “I don't need you to tell me how to live my life!”

“I'm the last person to be telling you how to live.” He leaned in close to Grell and spoke with warning. “But if you want to continue to live this life, you will straighten up and take my advise.” Grell shoved Nikolas away from him. Nikolas pushed back, not having any of Grell's attitude. “Don't push your luck, boy.”

Grell growled angrily again and grappled with Nikolas, Nikolas winning out and shoving Grell against the bookcase along the wall. Aroused and flushed, Grell gazed at the other man with lust, oblivious to the glowering eyes of the other and to the scolding he was receiving.

“Are you even listening to me?” hissed Nikolas.

“Have you ever fucked in the library before?” Grell asked with a devilish grin.

“is that all you ever think about?” Nikolas asked in return, somewhat aroused by their fight as well and the way Grell was looking at him…And admittedly intrigued at the idea of a little mischief.

“Well have you?” Grell asked, lifting his knee to Nikolas' crotch.

“You have no shame, do you?”

“None in the slightest,” Grell replied, still grinning.

“You're incorrigible,” Nikolas sighed.

“Tell me something I don't know,” Grell said, leaning in for a kiss. Nikolas responded, the kiss quickly becoming heated and passionate as Grell removed his trousers. Grell giggled naughtily as Nikolas teased his hole with his fingers, having wet them with saliva, preparing Grell as quickly as he could.

“Try to keep quiet,” Nikolas warned. Grell was hoisted up, wrapping his legs around Nikolas as Nikolas pushed into him, dry, taking it slow until he filled Grell with his cock. Grell bit his lip and refrained from uttering a single word or sound, even as Nikolas began to stroke the inner walls of his anus with his cock. His head lolled back against the case and Nikolas took this opportunity to kiss the exposed neck. Grell's nails dug into Nikolas' shoulders.

“Nicky!” he squeaked softly.

Nikolas began shoving in and out wildly. Doing something so private in such a public place was so exhilarating. Nikolas tightened his grip on Grell's ass. Seeking a better angle, he repositioned Grell more against the bookcase that had been behind them. Grell clutched tightly to Nikolas, losing his ability and more to stay quiet with every thrust. “Nicky!” he squeaked again with more wanton in his voice. “Harder, darling,” he pleaded even as Nikolas pounded the redhead against the bookcase.

The bookcase teetered and tipped, crashing into another bookcase and creating a domino effect. There were some shouts and screams, as reapers moved out of the way of the falling bookcases. They finally settled and others came to investigate.

“Fuck me,” said Nikolas at the several pairs of eyes now on them, including those of the brunet Grell had threatened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bientot, mon doudou: french for see you soon, my blankie. A common term of affection in French.


	4. Chapter 4

Word of what happened spread like wildfire and it didn't take long for their superiors to find out and summon them. Grell was forced to wait outside while Nikolas was questioned. Grell sat anxiously, wondering what was happening inside. He almost didn't care if they banned him from the school after this, as long as he got to stay with Nikolas.

He straightened when he saw that same fellow student from before. He watched him as the young man entered the room where Nikolas was being talked to. “Snitch,” Grell sneered. No doubt the brunet had snitched on them and that was why he was here. Oh! Now there was someone Grell would never sleep with, even if he was the last one on earth, or whatever. No, no, not at all. Not this weak teacher's pet!

Grell grew more and more anxious as he waited. Why wasn't he called in? He began to bounce his knee up and down in irritation.

Finally, a woman, Gindlewald Grell realized with a frown, opened the door and beckoned him in. “About bloody time!” he griped, getting up and heading into the office. He passed the student who was on his way out and “accidentally “ bumped into him, hard.

“Sutcliff, that's enough!” barked the sour faced woman. Grell paid her no mind, smiling a she sauntered the rest if the way into the office. “Have a seat,” ordered Grindlewald before moving to stand beside the headmaster. Thomas Beedle was the name on the desk. Grell decidedly did not like him.

 

 _Sniff._  “Your instructor claims you are a bright student and that you show great promise. Your grades on the other hand do not reflect this. However, sniff, that is neither here nor there at the moment. By all rights you should be expelled for your behavior, which is appalling. You pick fights with students, are disrespectful to your professors, and violate every rule in this academy you can. Above all this you have been found to be having _sexual relations_ with one of your instructors,” Beedle said, emphasizing the words ‘sexual relations’ as if it were an unspeakable and shameful act.

“We're both consenting adults,” replied Grell hautily.

“Sìlence!” shouted the headmaster, the cheeks on his skeletal face growing red with anger. He adjusted the pince-nez on his long narrow nose as he composed himself. “Any more slip ups from you and you will be expelled from the academy. If you are caught having…ugh…do I have to spell it out?” he said with disgust.

“If you are caught having intercourse on school grounds with anyone, you will be severely punished,” finished Grindlewald.

“As punishment, for your current transgressions, you will spend your remaining time in the academy staying after classes to clean the classrooms,” the headmaster went on.

“ _What_?!” exclaimed Grell.

“I have no qualms about expelling you right now, if you'd prefer. _Sniff._ Save us a lot of trouble.”

Nikolas, who had been silently standing off to the side of the room looked at Grell intently and with warning in his eyes. It would be best if Grell kept silent. Anything more and he would undoubtedly be expelled. Grell grit his teeth, crossed his arms and slumped back in his chair.

“Have we made ourselves clear, Sutcliff?” asked Beedle.

“Crystal,” Grell ground out.

“Then you are dismissed.”

“GAH!” Grell roared in anger later that evening in Nikolas' bedroom as they began preparing for bed. Grell kicked the seat of his vanity over and threw objects sitting on the vanity across the room. “Can you believe it?!” he raged. “The nerve of those boorish, stuffshirt…ugh!”

“Peace, mein klein lebkuchenherz,” said Nikolas, patting the bed beside him where he sat. “Why don't you come to bed?”

“I'm too angry to sleep! And that little spineless cockawhoop!”

“Really?” responded Nikolas. Opening his pants, he exposed his cock. “Are you too angry for this?” He pulled it out and toyed with it until it was erect. “Little Nicky wants some attention. He he~.” He stroked it some more to further entice the redhead. “Let's make love like we've never made before.”

“Of course I'm too angry!” shouted Grell, kicking the seat again. He was about to deliver another kick when Nikolas' words sank in. “Make love?” Grell pondered over Nikolas' choice of words as Nikolas tilted his head back and moaned, stroking faster.

Nikolas looked back at Grell and winked. “I want to fuck you like we've never fucked before.”

“Are we now?” replied Grell, deciding to play up the charade and continue to still act uninterested. It wasn't often he got a chance to play hard to get. Nikolas got up from the bed and scooped Grell up into his arms and carried him to the bed. He wasn't fooled for a second by Grell's act as he brought his lips to Grell's.

Grell struggled, attempting to get away after Nikolas released him onto the bed. “I said I don't want to-" he began, crawling away from Nikolas when Nikolas brought his down across his backside. Grell looked back to see a very annoyed look on the other's face. Nikolas was clearly not interested in this sort of play

“Stop it, Grell,” he said seriously. Grell turned over and lay on the bed submissively. Nikolas kneeled on the bed near the foot. He took one of Grell's ankles in hand and removed the shoe that was on that foot, followed by a red sock. He placed gentle kisses to the foot, going up to his ankle. He did the same to the other foot. Moving between Grell's legs, he rubbed Grell through his pants as he undid the belt on them.

Grell's breath quickened, growing hard beneath the elder reaper's hand. A cry of relief escaped his lips when he was finally freed from his tight pants that Nikolas slowly pulled off, followed by Grell's underwear. Nikolas quickly returned to Grell's cock, encompassing it with his mouth. “Nicky!” moaned Grell. He soon had him dripping with precum, twirling his tongue around the shaft and head before taking all of Grell into his mouth.

“Nicky, I'm close!” gasped Grell.

At that, Nikolas took Grell's cock out of his mouth and covered Grell's body with his own. He kissed Grell deeply and passionately. Grell could taste himself on his lips as their cocks rubbed together. Grell's fingers entwined in silver hair. The pair kissed for several moments before Nikolas moved his kisses down along Grell's neck, undoing the redhead's waistcoat and shirt.

Well manicured nails ran along Grell's chest, coming to Grell's nipples. The pink buds hardened as Nikolas stimulated them. Continuing to stimulate one with his hand, Nikolas took over one with his mouth, eventually switching.

When the nipples were stimulated enough to Nikolas' satisfaction, he kissed his way further down Grell's lean body. “Have you ever considered getting a piercing?” he murmured against the pale flesh, pressing a kiss to Grell's hip. Nikolas had several piercings in his ears.

“A piercing?” Grell replied, intoxicated from Nikolas’ kisses. “Like yours?”

“Anything you like,” answered Nikolas, coming back to Grell's erect penis. “Anywhere you like.”

Grell had not ever really thought about it before and now he certainly could not think about it now that Nikolas had his mouth around his cock once more, but he did not stay there long. He gripped Grell's butt cheeks and raised his lower half into the air. He toyed briefly with Grell's scrotum before bringing his mouth to Grell's anus and inserting his tongue.

“N-nicky!” Grell cried, his sac taught and feeling as if he'd burst. Nikolas reached around to his cock and gave it a squeeze. At first, Geell thought he was going to be denied when he was so close to cumming, but instead Nikolas stroked him with his expert long fingers. Grell quickly came, spurting his warm seed onto his body.

Grell was lowered back to the bed . As he recovered from his orgasm. Nikolas leaned over Grell and licked up the cum. “Delicious.” When he had finished, Nikolas acquired some lube and used his fingers to finish preparing Grell, stretching him well to fit his massive girth inside without hurting him. He worked slowly, looking that spot within.

He knew by Grell's moans and utterances when he had found it and exploited it. A huge grin split his face as he brought Grell's cock back to an erect stance. Finally, his fingers were removed and Nikolas was lubed up, slowly pressing into Grell until he was fully inserted. He rolled his hips slowly, his hands feeling along Grell's body. Tonight was more than just about sex for Nikolas. He wanted Grell to have the best night of his life. Nikolas ignored Grell's pleas for faster and harder, shushing the young reaper and telling him to have patience.

“Oh, Nicky, I can't stand it anymore! Make me cum! Fill me with your seed!”

“Shh, sh, sh, my little rosebud. Not just yet,” Nikolas replied, interlocking his fingers with Grell's and pinning him to the bed to prevent him from trying to change their positions. “Let me hear your sweet, sweet voice. Call my name.”

“Nikolas…” moaned Grell. It felt so good. Everything was wonderful, but Grell was ready for some action. He wanted the elder reaper to pound into him as hard as he could.

“That's my lady.” Nikolas kept his slow pace, relishing in the way Grell fit around him and committing it to memory. The way Grell felt in his arms as their bodies collided together. The smell of his skin and the freckles on his nose that he tried to hide.

“Are you ready, my dear?” he asked at long last.

“Fuck, yes!” cried Grell. “I was ready ages ago, but you-" he began to tirade until Nikolas stopped him with a kiss.

“Then you had best hold on to something,” said Nikolas with a smile. He raised himself to a kneeling position and pulled Grell into his lap while Grell took hold of the frame at the head of the bed. Nikolas thrust hard and sharp, still a slow pace at first, but soon he was pounding hard into the redhead at a fast pace. Grell was soon moaning and shouting his name and nonsensical things as the bed banged against the wall.

Grell's toes curled in ecstasy. He wrapped his legs around Nikolas. “Oh fuck!” he cried.

Nikolas paused a moment, groaning as he came inside the redhead. He then resumed pounding into the other male as his randiness abounded. “I’m going to fill you to the brim, my dear,” he said. “Until I'm dribbling out your pretty little ass.” Grell cried out in excitement and lust. He loved it when Nikolas spoke like that to him. Nikolas pulled out and repositioned Grell so that the redhead was on his knees facing away from Nikolas. Nikolas pushed back in and resumed his thrusts.

Grell took a firm hold on the head board until Nikolas pried him away from it to a more upright position, leaning Grell against his body as he pounded up into Grell's. “Cum for me, dearie,” Nikolas whispered seductively into his ear, taking hold of Grell's cock and pumping it.

“Nicky! Ah!” Grell cried and came into Nikolas' hand. Nikolas released into Grell once more before lowering him gently onto the bed and turning him onto his back. He continued to move his hips, slower now and gentler. Grell lay exhausted beneath him, panting for breath as Nikolas built himself up to the edge, preparing to cum a third time. He pulled out when he was close and moved into position near Grell's face as he pumped his cock with his hand. Grelll took Nikolas into his mouth and greedily sucked his dick, swallowing every bit of cum that he could.

Nikolas came to lie beside Grell to cuddle him for awhile while Grell sighed happily. “You must be thirsty, my dear,” Nikolas spoke after a while. “Why don't I fetch you something to drink?”

“I'd like to stay like this a little while longer,” Grell replied.

“Come now. You have to keep up your strength. Don't want to get dehydrated now, he he~. A drink and then back to cuddling. After the workout I gave you, you need it.” Grell consented and Nikolas got up to fetch it. He got a glass and poured the drink. He glanced around warily to see if Grell had followed him into the kitchen then added a powder to the drink and mixed it well.

He returned to the bedroom and was greeted by a smile from Grell as he lay there on the bed, looking incredibly sexy. After Grell had drained the glass, the two resumed snuggling. Grell let out a yawn, the drugs were quick. “Shouldn't we get cleaned up?” he asked as his eyelids drooped.

“In a bit,” chuckled Nikolas, pressing a kiss to Grell's temple. Grell was soon snoring softly against Nikolas' chest. Nikolas slipped out of the bed and gently cleaned them both up. He dressed Grell in the redhead's favorite night clothes and pulled the covers up over him. Swiftly and silently, he packed up his belongings in as few bags as possible. This meant he would have to leave his books behind. Oh well, maybe Grell would find some use for them.

He left a letter along with the necessary documents where Grell could easily find them. With everything prepared, he pressed another kiss to Grell's head. “Forgive me, my dear, it's for the best. Perhaps we may meet again and he-he~ play some more.” And with that, Nikolas Gorney left the London Dispatch.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contains dialogue from the OVA

****

Grell woke in the morning with a big smile on his face. He didn't think anyone could be as happy as he was in that moment, thanks to Nikolas' talents in love making. He rolled over, expecting to find his lover laying beside him, but found it empty and cold. ‘ _ Perhaps he got called in early _ ’, Grell thought as he sat up and stretched. He located his glasses, and also the envelope. Grell sat on the edge of the bed, opening the envelope, taking out the letter. As he read it, a slurry of emotions  settled in.   
  
“ _ My darling Rose, _ _   
_ _   
_ __ Forgive me for not talking to you in person, but I am a coward when it comes to such matters and cannot bear the look in your face when I tell you that effective immediately I am to be transferred as a result of our little adventure in the library. I leave my house to you. All of the documents are in order, as you'll see. 

_   
_ _ Do not blame yourself. I should never have gotten romantically involved with a student and I confess now that it was never meant to last. You are a very talented young reaper whom I did not want to see you expelled. Therefore I used sex to try to control you, my passionate creature, which I never should have done. No one should ever try to restrain you. However, I beg you show some restraint until you have passed your final exam. Believe me, Rose, you do not want to fail…” _

 

Grell could not bear to read anymore. He balled up the letter and threw it angrily on the floor. With a pain in his heart, he threw himself onto the bed and punched the pillows. He punched them over and over again until feathers flew out of them. A scream of anger rose from his lips as hot tears rolled down his cheeks. “Damn him! Damn you! Why?  _ Why _ ?!  _ Damnit!  _ You knew better! You knew it and you still....” He paused, biting down on his lip. “That bastard. If I ever see his laughing face again…”

 

The more he vented, the less he found it hard to stay mad at Nikolas. If there was anyone to be angry at, it was at the higher ups and that little shit who ratted them out. Despite what Nikolas had written, Grell couldn't believe it had all been fake.

 

Getting up, he reached for the envelope and pulled out the rest of the contents, finding the papers for the house. The house was really his. Did this mean Nikolas did not plan on returning? Grell tossed he documents aside and fell back on the bed. He stared at the ceiling as he toyed with his hair.

 

“He wasn't man enough after all. Not man enough to tell you in person he was leaving. Not man enough at all. But I'm still going to beat the little snitch into a bloody pulp next chance I get. He can't snitch if he's dead.”

 

However, Grell didn't get the chance. The few times Grell did see the snitch, there were too many witnesses. Grell was taking Nikolas’ advice to heart about avoiding trouble, for the most part. This meant not beating up students who weren't forthcoming on any information they might have had on the brunet. All he found out was that he liked to keep to himself.

 

And so came the final exams and Grell still had not enacted his revenge on the brunet. Grell was called to the headmaster's office, the headmaster standing without with his hands clasped behind his back as he peered down his long thin nose at the redhead.

 

“Sutcliff,” he said as if the name left a bad taste in his mouth. “You're on time, I see.  _ Sniff. _ The director of the exams is waiting for you in my office. Try not to foul this up.” To Grell it sounded as if he would prefer that exact thing to happen. Grell sneered at him before heading into the office, ready to get it over with.

 

However, he had to wait on his exam partner,  who was running late. He stood with his arms crossed, ignoring the rooms other occupants until the door opened and his partner joined him. Grell’s look of boredom was replaced with irritation as he realized just who his partner was as the other apologized for his tardiness and introduced himself as William T Spears. Grell closed his eyes and grit his teeth, trying to contain his anger as the exam master spoke to them of their grades; Grell receiving an A in practical skills, a B in written exams, and a C in ethics while William received a mere B in everything. This was too much.

 

“Ugh! It’s obscene!” Grell blurted out. Not only was he paired with the one who made him lose his lover, but they were pairing a  _ B _ -average student with an  _ A _ -average student?! Grell slammed his hands down on the desk before them and pointed fingers. “I have an A-average! How can you possibly pair me with that B-average cretin!”

 

“I don't recall us asking for your opinion,” returned the assistant standing beside the exam master.

 

“In case you weren't listening properly,” said the exam master, “the only A you received was in practical skills.”

 

“I rather think that’s enough, don't you?” Replied Grel smugly. “Practical skills are more important than anything else. Perhaps you'd like a demonstration.” Grell pulled back his blazer and displayed the scythe at his hip. “I can show you my skills personally.”

 

“Don't be ridiculous! Put that away!” ordered the exam master while his assistant cowered beside him. “You're on thin ice already. You'd best not cause problems.”

 

He was right, Grell knew and forced himself to calm down. The whole thing was laughable, the more he thought about it. There was no getting out of it, but there would be plenty of time for revenge later. “It won't work,” he said in a calmer voice, stepping back from the table. He placed his hands behind his head to indicate he was now bored with this conversation. “I need to be partnered with a  _ real  _ man. One who can milk me for all I'm worth,” he continued, knowing his innuendos would have the desired effect of disturbing the other men. The exam master groaned before proceeding to give them the details of their assignment.

 

“Fine,” said Grell at the end of it before speaking to William. “Just don't get in my way.”

 

“Right,” replied William, “I shall do my utmost. I look forward to working with you.”

 

“Hmf.” They'll see about that, goody two shoes.

 

The pair were given a flat near the residence of the subject of their exam. William took out the key only for Grell to snatch it from his hand, unlocking the door himself. He pushed the door open and looked around in disgust. “You have  _ got _ to be kidding me!” he shouted with disgust. Their flat consisted of only one room and one bed. The walls and the furniture looked run down. All in all, in Grell's eyes, a dump. “This is an outrage! I'm too good for this filth!” He thought his room in Charon Hall was bad. This was worse. Far worse.

 

“It looks perfectly acceptable to me,” said William.

 

“Shut up! No one asked you!” Grell barked at him. “But I suppose I shouldn't expect anything less from a b-average  _ peasant _ .” William didn't reply, going further into the flat to place his bag on the bed. “I wonder if it's too late to find a room at a nice inn or something,” Grell muttered, running his finger along the table in the room. “And I bet the bed is full of lice and other such nasties. He looked over at William who was unpacking his bag.

 

“Surely such things as lice wouldn't affect us now,”  said William with a hint of conviction. 

 

Grell growled in anger. “No one  _ asked you _ .”

 

William paused putting his things away and a look of perplexion crossed his face. “You seem to have a problem with me,” he stated calmly. “Have I done something to offend you? If this is about the incident in the cafeteria, I did apologize.”

 

“It's more more than that, Lobcock! You little tattletale! Nikky left me because of you!”

 

“Nikky? Mr. Gourney?”

 

“Yes, you twit!”

 

“You're speaking of the incident in the library,” William realized. “I was just one of several witnesses they called to give a statement as to what happened. As for myself, I didn't see very much to give many details as to why the disastrous event occurred.”

 

Grell grit his teeth. He stared William down a moment before sucking them in disdain. Damn him. “I’m going to go check out this Thomas Wallis fellow,” he said, snatching a pair of binoculars and the file, seeking a retreat for now.

 

“I'll come with you,” said William, much to Grell's chagrin.

 

oOo

 

Grell looked around the area with the binoculars, disgusted by all of the filth. How had he ever lived in such a world? William held his own pair of binoculars and spitted their man: Thomas Wallis. A writer from Bristol.

 

Grell was not very impressed. Such a dull human. Might as well end this now. There was no need to wait the full thirty days. He pulled out his stamp and opened the file to mark it ‘complete’. 

 

William snatched the file from his hand. “We should use all the time allotted to investigate.”

 

“Oh my,” said Grell darkly. “Mr. B-average is talking back. How fabulous.” Grell unsheathed his scythe and brought it to William who stopped it with his own. They locked scythes a moment, William appearing to struggle against the redhead's ferocity until Grell grinned and delivered a kick to William's stomach that sent William flying into a chimney, damaging the brick upon impact. Blood trickled from William's mouth, Grell could see satisfactorily as he approached. It felt good to finally give this fink his cummupins. 

 

Grell pointed his scythe at he brunet with his other hand on his hip as he looked down his nose at his vanquished foe. “Well, anything else to say?”

 

“They gave us a month to complete the exam,” said William painfully, “This is our first screening. I think we should observe him further. If we make a mistake on this, it could ruin our careers.” 

 

He had a point, Grell admitted, having thought it over. “You are dreadfully dull,” Grell said and began to walk away. “Do what you like, but I'm telling you now it's a bloody waste of our time. So, when is the collection scheduled for again?”

 

“In one month, on December sixteenth,” William replied, adjusting his glasses, “at four o’clock in the afternoon. We should get to work.” Grell instead left William to his ‘observations’, returning to their one room flat and turned down for the night.

 

Grell lay in the center of the bed attempting to sleep on the uncomfortable mattress. It was well past midnight when he felt the bed depress beside him. “I'm naked, just so you know,” he announced impishly.

 

“Honestly,” he heard William mutter. “Will you move over a little please?”

 

“No.” A big grin split Grell's face as William tried to make himself comfortable on the tiny space Grell allotted him. Anything to bring this wanker discomfort. His smile faded, however, when he tried to shift his position, moving the covers with him, he couldn't. William was lying on top of them. Grell cursed under his breath, getting as comfortable as he could and going to sleep.

 

Grell woke in the late morning to find William scribbling away at the table. Intrigued, Grell went over and looked over his shoulder. It appeared to be notes on their subject, but the handwriting was so illegible to Grell, it was hard to tell. “You call  _ that _ handwriting?” he sniggered. “Someone wasn't attentive in his lessons as a schoolboy, I see.”

 

“Not everyone has had as privileged a childhood as you make yours out to be,” replied William dryly. He gave a quick glance in Grell's direction, but promptly returned them to the paper in front of him when he saw that was still naked. “Would it trouble you to put in some clothes?”

 

“ _ Prude _ ,” Grell responded. 

 

“Now that you are up, we should go observe our assignment. “

 

“‘ _ We _ ’? Oh no, dullard. My mind is made up about this fellow. This is my first time back in the human world. Since you insist on waiting the entire month, I'm going to go have some fun.”

 

“You can't,” gasped William.

 

“Are you going to stop me?” asked Grell with a dark glint in his eye, daring William to try. “I thought not,” he said when William made no move to do so. “Know your place,  _ peasant. _ ” Grell dressed and went out.

 

How time had flown since he died, he noticed when he had first re-entered the human realm. What had seemed like a couple years to him had only been a few months in the human world. All this black, black, black, white, and grey. One thing Grell had certainly missed was all the colorful clothing, and he couldn't wait to get his hands on some of the latest fashions. This so far was the only interesting thing he was finding in the human world.

 

However, shopping would wait. He would hunt for a new wardrobe later. First, breakfast. Ending up in Covent Garden while looking for a decent place, he came across a fairly new restaurant called  _ Rules,  _ where he enjoyed a nice late breakfast. Much better than the slop served in the academy's cafeteria at any rate. He then wandered the streets, looking in shops, going in the direction of Drury lane and eventually came upon an inn that was far more suitable than that dreadful flat.

 

He set himself up a suitable room and went out again, with the intentions of picking his things up from the other place later. Now? Now he was going to acquire a better wardrobe. Nikolas had been sweet enough to buy him a few things, mainly lingerie and cosmetics, but Grell needed more. He needed to accessorize his uniform, as much as he could get away with. Matthew had been right about one thing, as much as he hated the expectations and responsibilities that came with status and wealth, he had liked the wealth part. His sense of fashion demanded it.

 

Matthew.

 

The thought of him made him grimace. It had been some time since his friend and crush had crossed his mind. It seemed almost little more than a dream now and he no longer pined for his lost love. 

 

All thoughts of Matthew left his head when he spotted a dapper suit in a shop window, certainly one of a kind. And one hell of a price to go with it. Under the pretense he had just come into an inheritance and was filthy rich, Grell was able to gain credit with the shop. He would pay them back, eventually...maybe.

 

Dressed snappily in his new audacious red suit, Grell stepped from the shop. He walked down the street with a snobbbish air. Rounding the block, he almost ran into a mother and her daughter. “Watch where you're going!” he snapped at them, looking from the woman to the child. His eyes widened as the mother continued on their way, stepping around the strange man. The child reminded him of his daughter, Mary.

 

Grell spent the evening building quite a tab in the pub attached to the inn until he got bored. Feeling lonely, he took a bottle of wine and went up to his room. He drowned his sorrows with the bottle. How could he have forgotten one of his most precious treasures?

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if I'm going to explore Grell as a reaper in this or not. Let me know if you want to see it.


End file.
